The Coin Roll Cable Holder Thing

So instead of going to bed like a normal human being (indeed one who has class at 8:30am), I decided to dick around on the internet, looking for something that would tame the mess of cable extending from my headphones:

Upon measuring I concluded that the length of the cable was approximately 30km.

I came across a few things, no more than moulded plastic things in the shape of an 8, which you wrap your cables around and weave through. They were neat. I did not think the prices were neat though. One by Belkin costs something like $15, and it looks like they just glued two milk bag openers together. So I said "bollocks to this," and I went about the apartment in search of junk that I could use to make my own. I gave up and looked for a beer instead, but just as I was reaching for one I noticed something on top of the fridge. Elaine, having worked in the restaurant business for half her life, has amassed quite a collection of coin holders. You know, the cardboard roller things...these:

Found: most exciting picture on the internet.

Yeah. You know them. I took the pennies one ($0.50 g-g-g-g-UNIT) Anyways, at work I'm pretty much the man when it comes to wrapping cable up (I think I have OCD about it there, which is weird if you know me and cables), and I figured I could get my cables into this sucker. I looked at the prospect below and wondered, is this even possible? Perhaps!

Rumours whirl about the "is it/isn't it" affair between headphones and coin roll thing

The following are instructions on how to make my really awesome Coin Roll Cable Holder Things:

First, take the plug end of your headphones (using the other end would be both stupid and impossible) and pass it through the coin roll. Now, the rolls have one end already rolled, so pass the plug through that end first, and out the unrolled end. This helps with the cables sliding out:

"HISS! HISS!" said the Cable Snake.

Weave the whole thing through. Now, slide the roll down to somewhere comfortable: your pocket area, your hand area, your whatever area. Just make sure you have enough lead on your headphones up top to allow for movement.

This is Pocket Country.

Now that you've got it at a comfortable distance, take the plug-ended length of cable and wrap that shit up. Fold it so it's just about the same size as the coin roll. Dig it:

Thumbs up for odd gestures!

Make it super compact, then slide the coin roll up around it. It should go in pretty nicely:

They throw these at nerd weddings.

Now, all that's left is to basically cram the rest of it right the hell in. In the end, it should look like this:

Fascinating!

And that's pretty much it. I tried making a case for my iPod shuffle out of it, considering they're pretty much the same size, but Short Round (my shuffle) was having none of it. Too bad, that would've been so money.

Anyhow, that's enough nerding for me.

Good night, children.

Facts!

I've got school in the morning, so you get facts from our friends Copy and Paste.

Since our last check-up we've had an improvement! The browser breakdown for visitors here is this:

1. Firefox (56%)
   
2. Netscape and Internet Exploder - tie (21%)
   
3. Ask Jeeves (2%)
   

First off, I'm so happy you kids are using Firefox more. Second, you're still using IE, oh 21 percent? What do the five fingers say to the face? Slap. That's correct. I wasn't sure that Netscape still existed, so either people are using computers from 10 years ago or I'm just trippin'. And Ask Jeeves? What the fuck.

Next is the operating system:

1. Windows XP (46%)
2. Linux UNIX (24%)
   
3. Unknown (23%)
4. Windows ME/2000 (3%)
   
5. Windows 98 (1%)

Windows XP does not surprise me, Linux does. And Unknown? Holy shits there are mystery OSes about! And to whoever is using Windows 98: My cell phone can run Windows 98. Get a new computer.

Other neat-o facts:

• 7.25% have your screens set to 800x600. Either your monitor is from the Crusades or you're just content with blinding headaches. Oh well.
• 1.45% have your screens set to 1600x1200. I am jealous of 1.45% of you.
• I have people (apparently) reading from Sunnyvale, California; Houston, Texas; and Glendale, Arizona. Hello to you. (I question the accuracy of the location machine, it thinks I'm from Nova Scotia.)
• It is possible to find my site by searching for "mulholland drive, bon jovi". Wow.

There you have it.

Good night.

Are Danishes from France?

It has been brought to my attention that some people are confused by my last post about The Vestaloynes. The band in the article I found and the band I linked are indeed one and the same. Blows your mind, eh? Mine too. They are a real band, just like MC Premium Plus.

You didn't know about MC Premium Plus? Shit, he's the best rapper this side of our dimension, and probably the other side too. I mean, check this out:

Hockey-playing
rhyme-slaying
perpetrating
badass mutha
there ain't no other, this woman-lover, not Danny Glover, he makes 'em hover.

P.R.E.M.I.U.M. is how you spell pandemonium
P for the power
L for the love
U buy the records
and Ssssssssmell the glove.

Busting dope rhymes in jackalope times
deking fines and passing on the blue lines
Pass the puck, cross the 401
make it to the T-Dot before the night is done

In his Focus Wagon he brings the hos
And up in shotgun ride the pros
Sorry kids, that's just how it goes
in the land of ice you gotta play before it snows.

Man, seriously. Dope.

You know it!

Get your ticket for the coolest concert in the history of time, kids.

School tomorrow. Good night.

The Way I See It #122

I start school tomorrow. I honestly have no idea what the hell I'm getting myself into.

It's weird, I've had a 2-year summer, and the idea of going back to school is, amazingly, an exciting prospect. No dread, no looming grey cloud, nothing. I can't think of a good reason as to why though, because if you've ever met me, you'd know that I'm not the biggest fan of the educational establishment. I suppose you could chalk it up to my competitiveness ("Elaine's going, why the hell can't I?"), my desire not to resign myself to a lifetime of retail, or maybe the fact that it gives me an excuse to get a MacBook is enticing enough.

I realized (this evening, quite conveniently since everything is closed) that I'll likely need more than a currently non-existant laptop and fancy empty laptop backpack in order to go to school. Hopefully I can find some, you know, lined paper. The first week will be, in short, awful. If you've seen my handwriting, good Christ. No one will be able to borrow my notes, at least.

I'd like to touch upon an item I mentioned a few posts ago:

"If I don't get in, I expect one solid week of binge drinking and sandwich eating, and you should too. You know what? Even if I do make it in, I will do it anyhow."

Well, as promised, even if I made it in, my binge-week begins...now. Shit. Yes.

Drinks of choice this week are many (many - thanks Sean) Molson Canadian Cold Shots, which taste like water but don't function the same. And the cans, they're so small! Quite effective, these.

Awesome.