From anywhere to anyone

Hello.

I currently wait for my lady to arrive home from work, and since it is now technically her birthday, I wait to bestow gifts. What a goddamn sweetheart I am.

So, I bide my time.

If anyone still reads this, you've either talked to me today or live with me, and you also know that my computer, well, is garbage. I had trouble with it a few months ago, as I had chronicled; after a "repair", it's even worse off. Perhaps putting a brand new 300gb drive on a five year old motherboard may have pissed it off. Maybe it overheard my nefarious scheme to have my music collection ripped at the highest possible rate so I can hook it up to my home theatre and enjoy it. Also we must consider the fact that one cannot polish a turd. In the coming months, I hope to go from brown box to white box, as shown below:

Yes, I realize the unintentional creepy blackface freaks you out. It freaks me out too. We're in this together, don't worry.

Either way, I'm hopefully getting a MacBook. Sure, I don't need one, but I'm bored of the whole PC fiasco. Sick of updates, sick of viruses, sick of crashing hard drives and blue screens of death. On top of that, I actually have valid reasons: I want a laptop for travel, such as to Europe or class; I want to become more familiar with other platforms; I want to have blogging/editing/music programs that all jive together. I'm pumped about the damn thing and it's not because of the neat-o "I'm a Mac, I'm a PC" commercials. They're not pandering to me.

"Wait, hold the phone," you say, "did that hip cat say 'class'?" Yes, I did, and thank you for the compliment. I will (tentatively) be going to school in September...again. This time at a different institution, different program, shit, different city. Continuing my trend of "going to school in cities in which I have never been", I'll be taking the Journalism course at Niagara College. Why I said "tentatively" before is because I'm currently on a waiting list for the program, which makes sense considering I applied less than a week ago. I apparently have a 99.9% chance of getting in, so I'll just say I'm going to school. If I don't get in, I expect one solid week of binge drinking and sandwich eating, and you should too. You know what? Even if I do make it in, I will do it anyhow. That, friend, is my gift to you.

Some quick things to note:

• Dead Rising for the Xbox 360 plays like the longest demo ever. It is fun until you realize you don't care about the people you're supposed to save (and they slow you down anyhow), and you also find out that commanding them into a crowd of zombies is very helpful. I will say this for the title though: the weapons are some of the most satisfying in any game I've ever played (you haven't lived until you've scalded a zombie's face with a hot frying pan, or knocked off a leg with a bowling ball). 6.5/10.
• Read Eats, Shoots and Leaves by Lynne Truss. Quality book, really cheap at Wal-Mart too.
  
• Listen to Sounding a Mosaic by Bedouin Soundclash. I know lots of you may already have, but if not...well, hey.
  
• The cat ate part of my fucking sandwich when I was in the bathroom. I was gone for like a minute, and the fat loaf decides to go to town on my ham. Cat, if you are intelligent enough to know that the worst possible thing you could do is involve yourself with my sandwich, then you're intelligent enough to read and peruse the tubes of the internet. So I say this once with clenched teeth: you're lucky Elaine likes you and that it is her birthday. You are on thin fucking ice with me. Enjoy your kibble. God damned cat.

I should probably go, and, you know, wrap Elaine's present.

Good night, oxygen thieves.

Moment of Zen: Dinosaur parties and the legend of the gay biscotti.