20 November 2005

One of three delicious flavours

I just watched this farce of a show on TBS called Earth To America, which claims that it's an awareness event for global warming. The comedy is dull at best, with only a few standouts that perform as they're expected to. Quasi-host Tom Hanks opened the night with a good start: screwing up the URL of their web site and tripping over Kevin Nealon's name ("Nealond").

Most of the acts were just straightforward swill you already expect: Ray Romano's opening act set the stage for where the event is (Las Vegas), regailing us with overdone gambling and hooker jokes (oh, you sly fox, I never would have thought I'd hear jokes about those in Vegas!); Cedric the Entertainer and Wanda Sykes telling us how different black people and white people are (and how much the ozone affects them both in different ways); Rob Corddry's piece was pulled from an episode of The Daily Show, no new content added; Ben Stiller was the token "rich guy claiming he helps while pointing out what he doesn't - and shouldn't - do"; and Dustin Hoffman and Leonardo DiCaprio came together for a heartfelt plea to the world (which, contrary to Leo's claim, does not still include the USSR).

Not all of it sucked horribly, a few spots have been decent, like Robin Willams' compilation skit, while short, was better than the previous half hour put together; Tom Hanks, Steve Martin, and Eric Idle's "Too Warm Trio" put together three men known for their comedic talent to do a low-key two-song set (and while I'm not his biggest fan, Martin sure can play the banjo); and Larry David's bitching about fake flowers and tuna sandwiches was worth the whole 2 hour ordeal.

Also, Robert F. Kennedy is really difficult to listen to. I have no idea if he has some problem with his throat, smoker or whatever, but it gives me that tight feeling right up in the lungs, it's weird.

Really though, the Earth is what the entire evening was about. With an event like this, really, how can Mother Nature not benefit?

I suppose I could ponder why I bothered to sit around for two hours and watch it, but there you go.

Other things!

Work is going pretty alright. The launch of the Xbox 360 looms very near, and the customers are getting anxious. They stand around in our store in front of the demo unit waiting for their turn to play, making wild claims and hoot and holler and all sorts of things. This is fine and all, provided they keep to their designated corner. When one strays from the idiot circle, however, they'll generally wander to one of us, which quickly puts us on edge. The sad part of that comic is that I was privy to this tirade. See, retail, she's a slippery mistress. You can't hop over the counter and choke the shit out of the real idiots; you're forced to sit and watch them wander off and pollute the rest of the gene pool. It's got a whole zombie effect to it, too. You can actually pinpoint the one shithead who started telling the masses the lies. You can try to correct him about his error, but it doesn't matter if he listens, the damage is already done and the idiot virus spreads. Even worse, whatever they're talking about gets garbled through a broken telephone, as it were. So, "The 360 plays every original xbox game!" becomes "The 360 plays every game from every system ever made, even cartridges!"

I was once asked if we sold shoelaces. That was a good day.

Moment of Zen: He's like an old-time troubadour, just wanting life and nothing more

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