01 June 2004

Whiskey in the jar-o

Often I've been called a heartless, insensitive prick. Often people are right. I've never been good at displaying emotion - I've gotten to be a little hardassed like that over time - but when I try to come out and say that I'm worried about someone, god forbid emote, I tend to be unintentionally callous and harsh. Then, in turn, I end up feeling bad, worse than before. Then I have to try REALLY hard to un-fuck-up. Case in point: A good friend of mine just started seeing a guy. That's all well and good. As any guy who is good friends with a girl will attest, it's easy to get kind of protective of her. This is a given, no? Well, most times guys just brood about it, and complain about the girl's choice til she either marries the guy (then he's fine) or dumps him (he was a dick anyways). Most times, it's just a meaningless waste of emotions. Other times, like now, for instance, it's serious. Anyone who's grown up in a rural area knows that there are towns that are "black holes". You know the type, the town that everyone kind of jokes about nonchalantly, the town that has a reputation of being a party/drinking town, the town that's got half its population employed by the nearby car plant. Fun place to visit, if you're a drinker, I suppose, though I'd never want to live there. Now, my friend's quasi-dating a guy from one of these towns. Common story, she's got potential, he doesn't, he'll work at the factory, they've got a kid by the time she's 22, living in an apartment above a hardware store and there they will stay until they either split up or grow old and useless. Sure, it sounds like I'm painting a grim picture, but it happens far too often, and I'm too good of friends with this girl to just let it happen. She's kind of naïve, she likes the booze, she likes the attention she gets from people at the parties every weekend, but she just doesn't think deeper than that sometimes. I could give her more credit, I suppose, and I haven't sat down and talked to her about it, but here's where this thing comes full circle: my inability to communicate about how I feel about things bites me in the ass once again. Meh.

In retrospect, I've painted quite a bad picture of her. Since I don't believe in editing my posts to save face, this is the best I can do. Can't really remember what I was thinking at the time, sounds of things I was in a bad mood, and I probably came on quite a lot more harsh than I intended. I tend to do that.

I'm leaving to France in a few days, so expect very little from me during the month of June. And expect very little written about the trip at the end. We'll see.

I've been reading a new manga, just picked it up this past weekend, Negima. Written by Ken Akamatsu (same guy who did Love Hina), this thing's a hoot. There's a definite Harry Potter influence, but it's pushed back in favour of the characters, and in this case, only the main character (Negi) is a wizard. There's a ton of fan service too. God I sound like a loser.

Thanks to my buddy Pero^2, I've been thinking of picking up Comic Party and Happy Lesson. I really need someone to influence me to watch some of the darker stuff. Brooding is fun.

I could've sworn I saw the Olymptic Torch the other day. There was a ton of people running down Yonge St. with a torch, and a big police escort. That is really cool if it was the real thing.

This is the goddamn link of the week.

Current mood: Unsure

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